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Weekend Reset, Nov 23rd 2009 Edition

Sheesh, a lot happened this weekend. I'll do my best to cover the good, the bad, and the lulz in sports and entertainment.

Jimmie Johnson won an unprecendented fourth straight NASCAR championship. And to go along with all that hardware, he has his trophy wife, Chandra Janway Johnson. Life is good for Jimmie.

Happy Birthday Scarlett. Scarlett Johannson turned 25.

Jennifer Lopez fell on her ample ass at the American Music Awards. I thought she recovered very well.

Luckily for J-Lo, Adam Lambert wants to keep reminding everyone he is gay and kissed a dude during his performance to wrap up the show. I really don't care if he's gay; I hate everyone equally. But the song sucks and the shock value is weak and the whole routine is absurd. It's a short trip, Adam. Save your money.

A new Miss California was crowned. Gratz to Nicole Johnson. No sex tape leaks yet, but it hasn't even been 24 hours. Just be patient.

If you don't think Trump loves the controversy then know this was the first live broadcast of Miss California in 15 years. Coincidence? I think not. Suddenly people care. The lesson as always - sex sells. Even if you are having sex with yourself, Carrie Prejean. If fact, people are so obsessed with Ms Prejean that I can't even find a picture of the winner, Nicole Johnson, to include in this post. True story.

Devin Hester got pantsed in last night's lost to the Eagles. Jay Cutler is Rick Vaughn right now. All firepower - no control. He has the posture of a defrocked priest.

Eric Wood of the Buffalo Bills sufferred a compound fracture in the game against the Jaguars yesterday. A compound fracture is when a broken bone protrudes out of the skin. It's usually quite gruesome and apparently this was no exception. I haven't and won't watch the video, but the Sporting News has it: Eric Wood Injury. Please consider yourself warned.

Matthew Stafford wins the Pain Threshhold of the Year award by throwing the winning TD pass with a dislocated shoulder. Ouch.

The Pittsburgh Steelers in recent years close games like Mariano Rivera. This year, they've been more like Brad Lidge. Go Matt Cassel!

There was a Terrell Owens sighting yesterday. Remember him?

The Patriots squeaked by the Jets. I don't like how the Pats get so conversative with the lead in the second half. It's a disturbing trend.

Mark Sanchez has a lot of Brett Favre in him. All the bad Favre stuff. He needs to stop trying to be a hero and just take whats there. If that means taking a sack, then take it. He threw some awful picks yesterday. They have a good defense but Sanchez really didn't get them a chance.

Charlie Weis lost again. To UCONN. At home in South Bend. In front of Touchdown Jesus. On Senior Day. Bye Charlie.

Dear Jimmy Football, please die in a fire.

"The Twilight Saga: New Moon" grossed $140M this weekend. That's the third largest in history. I don't care. I won't see it. Lovestruck, undead teenagers FTL, I say.